Confidence is different for everyone. Some people are born with it, some pretend they have it, and others have to gain it. People also gain confidence through different resources. Take Maya Van Wagenen, the author of the memoir Popular: Vintage Advice for a Modern Geek. She went to the extreme for a major confidence-building experience. To be frank, it can take many years to get the confidence and strength you need. So the tips I've prepared for you may not work like magic. Just know that if you keep pushing yourself, you will eventually receive the confidence to face the day with a smile!
The first step to confidence is to get out of the universe of negativity. This means to start by being more positive. When you're feeling down about yourself, try to find something that puts you in a happy mood, whether it be music, sports, reading, etc. The happier you are, the better you'll feel about yourself. What my grandpa taught me to do before I go to bed is to write down one or more good things that happened that day. This way, you can go to bed concentrating on positive things instead of something embarrassing you might have said to someone, or other negative things that make your stomach lurch.
Something that can make you feel better about your appearance is to stop focussing on the imperfections. An activity to try might be to compliment yourself every time you look in the mirror. Now, I'm not saying that you should become narcissistic, but it can be a great way to cancel out those bully-some thoughts. Instead of saying "I have too many pimples!" or "I'm so fat!" try "I love how I look in this dress!" and "Who cares about those pimples! Pimples don't define my beauty!" The more you stand up for yourself, you'll find that the bully inside you will stop invading your thoughts.
A problem that I struggle with personally is having confidence outside of school, but not at school. If you struggle with this as well, I suggest you target the source that drains your confidence. Is it your friends? Teachers? Popular kids? Once you've found the source, it's much easier to search for solutions. For instance, my confidence drains when I worry about what other people might think of me. Sometimes I try to make myself as invisible as possible, hoping that no one will notice me. What helps me gain my confidence back is to constantly repeat in my head, "I don't care what they say! I don't care what they think!" The more I focus on that, the less I pay attention to the negative.
Another thing that gives me confidence is a huge confidence-boost from a friend or family member. One of my best friends sat down and had a long talk with me when I was feeling upset one year. Kids had been bullying me and I felt so alone. What she said gave me so much confidence, that I can not describe to you how confident I felt because of her. I am extremely grateful to have an amazing friend like her! Remember, no one should take the journey through life alone, so a good support group of friends is necessary to have on your life shopping list!
I hope these tips helped you gain the confidence you needed! Remember that you're beautiful inside and out and to be yourself!
See ya around!
Xoxo,
Kiley
P.S Please share my blog with your friends! It would really make me smile :)
NOTE: This was not sponsored by Maya Van Wagenen or Penguin Books. All opinions about Maya's book are mine only.
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